Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs step goals when you can aim for sitting records? 🛋️😂 Say goodbye to tracking your steps and hello to tracking your relaxation levels! Time to sit back, relax, and let that Sitbit do all the work 😎🪑"

exercise, FitBit, fitness, humor, laziness, lifestyle, Sitbit, trade

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

0

2 months ago

chore, clothes, dryer, ever, feel, folding, household, household chore, just, laundry, procrastination, restart
Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

0

2 months ago

activity, cheese, dining, eat, experience, food, food experience, fun, fun activity, grilled, grilled cheese, half, hipster, hipster restaurant, humor, license, love, old, old license plate, plate, quirky, quirky dining, restaurant
I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

0

2 months ago

appliance, clock, humor, i, joke, microwave, reset
I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

0

4 months ago

butt, humor, i, know, naked, never, people, privacy, secret, texting
I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

0

2 months ago

better, country, country music, helpful, humor, i, music, noise, playing, read, relaxation, sleep, somewhere, sound, white, white noise
I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

0

2 months ago

ache, another, bowl, cream, dessert, eating, eating habits, food, food logic, habits, humor, i, ice, ice cream, indulgence, logic, me, stomach, stomach ache, sure, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

50 shares on X this month:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Just landed via Twitch:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Broadcasted on Threads:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Spotted on Twitch:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Trending via YouTube:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨