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Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous legend of Tuah, the fearless warrior who mistook a noble Hawkingbird for his enemy! 🦅⚔️ Let's just say Tuah's hunting skills could use some improvement! 🤣 #Birds1Warriors0"

Hawkingbird, humor, kill, pun, Tuah, wordplay

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46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

15 shares on X this month:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

32 shares on Discord this month:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

11 shares on Slack this month:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

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Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Going viral on Slack:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Seen just now on Facebook:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Just shared via Instagram:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Wordgag ツ

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Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

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Wordgag ツ

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Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Keep the laugh going 😂

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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