Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.
  • I would like even faster food.
  • I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.
  • Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.
  • I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.
  • It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.