Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Live now on Discord:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Making waves on Telegram:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Live now on LinkedIn:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Broadcasted on Threads:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Wake me up when I’m rich!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why wait for wealth to wake you up? I say wake up now and hustle for that cash, honey! 💸💤 #DreamsAndDollars"

ambition, dream, humor, me, money, rich, sleep, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

2 months ago

after, alley, back, bowling, bowling alley, bumper, embarrassment, except, game, humor, i, knock, me, pin, shame, sit, walk, walk of shame, walking, zero, zero pin
Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

2 months ago

adult, adult friendship, best, best friend, difficult, friend, friendship, get on, homebody, house, i, leave, never, people, socializing, want
I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

3 months ago

always, criticism, fun, humor, i, internet, Kanye, losing, media, shit, social, social media, want
I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

2 months ago

body, body image, clothes, eat, food, humor, image, lucky, lucky person, people, person, put, self-deprecation, want, whatever
I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

2 months ago

favorite, frustration, hate, humor, i, live, lose, losing, pen, sarcasm, things, will to live, work
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

6 months ago

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

78 shares on X this month:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Just landed via Threads:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Trending via WeChat:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Spotted on Instagram:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Making waves on Reddit:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Just shared via Reddit:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨