Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Just shared via Reddit:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just shared via YouTube:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Breaking via Facebook:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Just landed via Messenger:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Going viral on TikTok:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the subtitles start freelancing, even the movie gets confused! 🎬🧐😂

frustration, movie, pain, subtitle, subtitles, syncing, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

2 months ago

banana, banana bread, bread, drama, end, fight, fun, humor, internet, media, online, online drama, post, social, social media, unexpected
The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

2 months ago

appearance, college, dating, hot, humor, i, importance, important, lesson, life, life lesson, matter, matters, priorities, self-esteem, stress, thing, where
Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

2 months ago

appetite, craving, eating, emotion, feel, finish, food, humor, hunger, hungry, i, just, love, moment, need, realize, relationship, self-awareness, sometimes
I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

2 months ago

actually, beautiful, beauty, empowerment, humor, i, save, self-help, think, yourself
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

2 months ago

communication, efficiency, humor, k, language, ok, people, slang, texting, time, writing
Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

3 months ago

confidence, day, flirting, hot, humor, i, me, nice, self-esteem

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Just shared via Discord:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Spotted on Telegram:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Trending via Facebook:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Spotted on Twitch:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Just landed via WeChat:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Just landed via Facebook:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨