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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Spotted on Messenger:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Breaking via TikTok:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Live now on Messenger:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Live now on Slack:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

0
We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.
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Commentary:
"Introducing the all-new 'AdTube' – because who needs plot twists when you can have product placements? 💸📺 #CashingInOnCommercials"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

53 shares on Slack this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

63 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Shared recently on X:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Making waves on Telegram:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Just shared via Facebook:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Trending via TikTok:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Trending via YouTube:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

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