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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Jan 12, 2026

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Just landed via Telegram:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Just landed via Messenger:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Seen just now on Messenger:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

2 months ago

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the possibilities of detachable arms! 🤖💤 No more awkward arm placements while trying to get cozy in bed. Just unscrew them and set them aside for a peaceful slumber. Sweet dreams of a world where technology sets us free… literally! 😂🛌 #FutureTechGoals"

able, arms, convenience, funny idea, humor, idea, should, sleep, take, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

3 months ago

behavior, being, drinking, drunk, every, funny behavior, humor, interaction, liking, media, online, online interaction, reading, social, social media, tweet
Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

2 weeks ago

car, Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, family, holiday, honey, humor, procrastination, store
Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

2 months ago

activity, bar, bar culture, bars, culture, exist, humor, monitoring, should, situation, social, social activity, sports, sports bar
“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

2 months ago

date, funny question, guy, hallucination, humor, question, relationship, seeing, someone, therapist, therapy
Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

2 months ago

desire, feeling, home, humor, moment, mood, motivation, never, underestimate
We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

2 months ago

able, amazing, attitude, call, call in sick, feel, health, healthy, humor, i, motivation, productivity, should, sick, today, wasting, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on X this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

79 shares on Threads this month:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My lips could use some attention today.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Trending via Discord:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Spotted on Discord:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Trending via Messenger:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

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