Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Just shared via Reddit:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Making waves on YouTube:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Breaking via Telegram:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Breaking via Slack:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Going viral on Messenger:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Just shared via TikTok:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

2 months ago

0

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎮🎂 "Forget about age, we should all be leveling up like video game characters! Imagine proudly announcing you're a level 80 wizard instead of just saying you're getting older. I'm getting ready to defeat the final boss of adulthood at level 100!" 🧙‍♂️✨

age, cool, game, humor, just, level, older, older person, person, perspective, start, video, video game

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

0

2 months ago

beauty, compliment, flowers, humor, looking, love, maybe, nature, outdoors, playful, positivity, too, trees
Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

0

2 months ago

door, hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, just, me, misunderstanding, pull, push, struggle, trying
Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

0

2 months ago

cheating, humor, me, neat, nobody, pretty, relationship, single, status
“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

0

4 months ago

back, bed, fantasy, going, humor, i, morning, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, waking, waking up, woke
I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

0

2 months ago

break, break in, going, house, humor, little, microwave, plate, steal, theft, thing, wheels
Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

0

6 months ago

absolutely, behavior, empathy, everyone, interaction, irony, kindest, kindness, kindness paradox, mean, meanness, paradox, people, reason, social, social interaction, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

77 shares on Slack this month:

You wish you had this many chins.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

21 shares on X this month:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Trending via Discord:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

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