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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

โ€œThe average CEO reads 52 books a year.โ€ Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

My immune system told me itโ€™s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has shared:

My shadow quit because Iโ€™m too boring.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Why are they called โ€œgrammar Nazisโ€ and not โ€œthe Gestypoโ€?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2131 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,293

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,293

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Messenger:

Itโ€™s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. Itโ€™s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Spotted on Instagram:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine youโ€™re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Making waves on X:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Reported on Messenger:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Shared recently on Discord:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.
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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2131 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,293

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,293

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

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Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Christmas adverts: โ€œEat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! Itโ€™s Christmas!โ€ New year adverts: โ€œLook at what youโ€™ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, whatโ€™s all this, then?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via Facebook:

โ€œYou donโ€™t look 40.โ€ How am I supposed to look?

Just shared via Threads:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Going viral on Threads:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But Iโ€™m also losing my eyesight, so itโ€™s not my problem.

Making waves on X:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Itโ€™s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, โ€œJurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.โ€

Spotted on X:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Just shared via YouTube:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Just shared via WeChat:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

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