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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2315 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,477

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,477

38 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Trending via TikTok:

I would like even faster food.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Trending via X:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Spotted on Messenger:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Making waves on Telegram:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of reaching your 50s 🎉 – where "losing your phone while scrolling on your phone" becomes a daily sport! 📱🔄 Just another case of the classic #AgeVsTech battle that never fails to amuse. Can't wait for the next level where we try to call our phone to find it! 🤣 #TechStruggles

50s, age, distraction, humor, irony, phone, scrolling, technology, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2315 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,477

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,477

38 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Seen just now on Slack:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Going viral on Messenger:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

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