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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2311 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,473

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,473

19 minutes ago

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Going viral on Discord:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Trending via Reddit:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Just landed via WeChat:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Just shared via Snapchat:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Going viral on Messenger:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Just shared via X:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Making waves on Slack:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

6 months ago

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, welcome to the mysterious realm of your parents' house, where the ancient secret code to the magical realm of internet connectivity is guarded by the almighty wifi password: fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh! 🏰💻🔐 Let the quest for signal strength and Netflix streaming prowess begin! 🚀📺 #ParentalGatekeeper #CrypticConnection

family, home, house, humor, parents, password, technology, welcome, where, wifi

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2311 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,473

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,473

19 minutes ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Trending via Discord:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Just shared via YouTube:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Just shared via Facebook:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Just landed via Telegram:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Spotted on TikTok:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

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