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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Trending via Slack:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Trending via Reddit:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Making waves on YouTube:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Making waves on TikTok:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Just landed via Threads:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

0
“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hmm, sounds like someone misunderstood the concept of a "random act of kindness" 🤦‍♂️🚫 Next time, how about treating them to some ice cream instead? You might save them from a potential headache… literally! 🍦🤣 #RandomActsOfKindnessGoneWrong

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Discord this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The peace of not knowing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,495

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Trending via Reddit:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Freshly posted on Threads:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Going viral on Slack:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Making waves on Messenger:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

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