When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.