When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.
  • World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.
  • My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.
  • I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.
  • Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.
  • I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.