Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when the greatest threat to our mortality was a stern look from mom or dad 😅👀. Better watch your sass, or you might just find yourself in the graveyard of "talking back to parents!" ⚰️👪

back, cause, childhood, die, discipline, family, humor, i, kid, natural, natural cause, parents, talking, talking back

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

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1 month ago

distraction, disturb, do not disturb, focus, humor, i, life, peace, put, whole, wish
Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

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1 month ago

asked, attitude, frustration, humor, i, me, motivation, rebellious, reluctance, sarcasm, teen, teenager, teens, wanted
Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

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2 months ago

adventure, friendship, good, humor, irony, journey, me, places, stick, still
All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

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2 months ago

broken, broken people, dealing, humor, lord, me, mechanic, people, tell
If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

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1 month ago

disrespect, due, ever, humor, i, irony, none, please, respect, sarcasm, say, understand, witty
Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

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2 months ago

humor, lightheartedness, marshmallow, roasting, self-deprecation, self-esteem, stop, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Discord this month:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

46 shares on Instagram this month:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

93 shares on X this month:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

62 shares on YouTube this month:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Love is in the air fryer.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Just shared via YouTube:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Just landed via Messenger:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Trending via Slack:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨