Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Listening to people's life stories is like watching a boring movie when you've got the Oscar-worthy version playing in your head 😅🎥 #MyLifeBeLike #StoryTimeShowdown"

better, experience, humor, life, me, much, people, personal, reminder, story, telling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

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2 months ago

frustration, humor, i, invoice, management, people, sarcasm, time, time management, wasting, wasting time, wish, work
An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

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2 months ago

adult, humor, ibuprofen, life, life skills, medicine, organization, pain, pain relief, person, place, relief, skills
Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

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2 months ago

ambition, Dior, fashion, hard, hard work, humor, Shein, study, success, work
Why read the room when you can leave the room?

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2 months ago

cues, humor, leave, leaving, read, room, sarcasm, social, social cues, why
My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

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6 months ago

delusion, favorite, humor, i, just, motivation, need, optimism, procrastination, stress, through, week
The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

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2 months ago

back, bad, bad habit, bundle, communication, habit, habits, humanity, humor, i, me, message, mushroom, need, psychedelic, response, self-improvement, shit, tell, together, told, us, weeks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

13 shares on Discord this month:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Just landed via Discord:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Just shared via Slack:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨