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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Seen just now on WeChat:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Going viral on Messenger:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Trending via X:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Just shared via Reddit:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Are your twins natural?" 🤖 Oh, no no, they're actually state-of-the-art, fully-functional robots! 🤖👶🤖 Who needs natural when you have technological wonders at home? 🤣 #RoboticParenting #TwinsOrTerminators

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Going viral on Threads:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Making waves on YouTube:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Spotted on X:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Just shared via TikTok:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Live now on Pinterest:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

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