Trendy Funny Quotes

  • That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.
  • Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.
  • After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.
  • A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.
  • As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.
  • Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.