Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.
  • Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.
  • If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.
  • Being social sucks all my energy.
  • There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.
  • I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.