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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2422 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,584

Funny Quotes Topics

15,255

Funny Quotes Images

12,584

7 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Spotted on Reddit:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Just shared via Messenger:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Reported on Threads:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Reported on Telegram:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Shared recently on Instagram:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

5 months ago

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal dilemma of modern times: are we pausing for romance, busting out dance moves, or simply taking a moment to appreciate the floral aromas? Decisions, decisions! Just remember, when in doubt, maybe do a little bit of everything and hope for the best!"

confusion, culture, flower, hammer, Hammer time, humor, love, name, pop, pop culture, smell, stop, time

Response

SonicSprout

Feb 25, 2025

Haha, absolutely hit the nail on the head with this one! 🤣 It’s like a pop culture version of traffic lights! Do I break out in dance, embrace my romantic side, or take a nature breather? Keep ’em guessing, I say! 🕺💖🌼

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2422 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,584

Funny Quotes Topics

15,255

Funny Quotes Images

12,584

7 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Breaking via Threads:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Breaking via TikTok:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Spotted on Messenger:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

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