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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

1 hour ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Going viral on Telegram:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Just shared via X:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Just shared via Discord:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

6 months ago

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious case of the disappearing snacks! 🤷‍♂️🕵️‍♂️ Remembering what you went to the fridge for becomes just as elusive as Bigfoot sighting once you hit the big 5-0! 🦍🤣 Just remember, it's not forgetfulness, it's advanced culinary exploration! 🍔🍕 #FridgeAmnesia

50, aging, black, change, eraser, fridge, humor, joke, lightbulb, memory, memory eraser, men, Men in Black, nostalgia, turn, turning, turning 50

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

1 hour ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Just landed via Threads:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Reported on Messenger:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Freshly posted on X:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Just shared via Discord:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Live now on X:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Reported on Slack:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Trending via Pinterest:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Reported on YouTube:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

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