Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, the bittersweet transition from being a regular at the bar to a VIP at the pharmacy 🍸💊 Here's to aging gracefully and getting carded for your medication instead of your drinks! 🎉 #CheersToGrowingUp

age, bartender, changes, counter, drinking, humor, i, know, life, life changes, me, name, pharmacist, recognition, walk, younger

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WeChat this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Trending via YouTube:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Just landed via Threads:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Spotted on Discord:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Just shared via Telegram:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Live now on Snapchat:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Shared recently on TikTok:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨