Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Self-checkouts are like a mini adventure – scanning, bagging, and hoping that bonus item sneaks through without the machine noticing! 🤣🛒 #StealthyShopper #ScanAndDash"

always, convenience, efficiency, fear, free, humor, much, people, quick, retail, scared, self-checkout, shopping, something, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

0

2 months ago

back, bar, communication, forget, forgetfulness, humor, i, miscommunication, never, notification, procrastination, reading, sarcasm, smartphone, text, texting, texts
Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cashier, day, everyone, except, good, humor, morning, people, social, social behavior, talk
Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulting, age, cleaning, expectations, eyesight, guest, humor, level, readers, related, welcome
Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

0

2 months ago

desire, dream, dreams, eating, follow, food, humor, i, motivation, taco, wanted, yesterday
UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

0

3 months ago

card, card game, game, genius, humor, i, luck, strategy, UNO, win, winning
I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

0

6 months ago

done, guys, humor, invitation, money, plan, something, spending, summer, want, wasting, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Trending via Pinterest:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Just shared via X:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Just landed via YouTube:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨