Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Seriously, chefs must think they're in a vegetable race or something! 🏃‍♂️ Slow down, Chef Speedy Gonzalez! Enjoy the onion-chopping journey, don't just sprint to the finish line! ⏳😄 #ChopChill"

always, chefs, cooking, cut, everything, fast, humor, just, kitchen, man, onion, relax, speed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

1 week ago

call, camera, Facetime, grown, grown man, humor, interaction, kiss, making, man, playful, video, video call
Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

5 days ago

90s, activity, arcade, fix, fun, fun activity, gaming, kombat, me, mortal, Mortal Kombat, nostalgia, playing
I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

3 weeks ago

calorie, fitness, frustration, humor, i, loss, rage, skinny, weight, weight loss, wish
The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

1 week ago

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No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

1 week ago

communication, date, forever, ghost, humor, joke, just, left, relationship, speechless, surprise
I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

3 weeks ago

event, ever, fear, future, history, i, moment, scariest, scariest moment, suspense, wonder

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

65 shares on X this month:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

64 shares on X this month:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Freshly posted on X:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Making waves on Telegram:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Trending via Telegram:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Spotted on TikTok:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Just shared via Telegram:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨