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Commentary:
"Seriously, chefs must think they're in a vegetable race or something! 🏃‍♂️ Slow down, Chef Speedy Gonzalez! Enjoy the onion-chopping journey, don't just sprint to the finish line! ⏳😄 #ChopChill"

always, chefs, cooking, cut, everything, fast, humor, just, kitchen, man, onion, relax, speed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

0

4 weeks ago

daily, daily habit, fine, guy, habit, humor, i, moderation, smoking, think, weed
My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

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2 months ago

going, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, preoccupation, regret, revenge, sarcasm, therapist, therapy
Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

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2 months ago

creativity, due, humor, personal, personal reasons, poem, reasons, transformation, turning, writing
Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

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2 months ago

food, grocer, gross, household, household item, humor, item, items, porn, pun, selling, small, wordplay
Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

0

2 months ago

coding, grammar, hell, hot, humor, language, nerd, punctuation, semicolon, writing
Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

0

2 months ago

boring, humor, light, light show, lights, nature, night, phenomenon, polar, polar light, show, sky

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

42 shares on Slack this month:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

32 shares on Discord this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

61 shares on Threads this month:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Trending via Snapchat:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Breaking via Facebook:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Just shared via TikTok:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨