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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Making waves on Reddit:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Making waves on Facebook:

January is the Monday of the year.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Just shared via YouTube:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

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With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Balancing a lollipop and a dandelion is no easy feat! 🍭🌼 It requires the focus of a ninja and the precision of a surgeon – a skill set mastered by every 'summer child' out there! 😄 Who knew such innocent treats could demand such intense concentration? Hats off to the summer kids for their impressive multitasking abilities! 🧢👏"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

99 shares on YouTube this month:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

77 shares on X this month:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

87 shares on X this month:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, holding a grudge.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,255

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Just landed via Instagram:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Just landed via YouTube:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Seen just now on Telegram:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Making waves on Twitch:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

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