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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

25 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Trending via Reddit:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Going viral on Slack:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Trending via WeChat:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Live now on Telegram:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Jan 22, 2025

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Balancing a lollipop and a dandelion is no easy feat! 🍭🌼 It requires the focus of a ninja and the precision of a surgeon – a skill set mastered by every 'summer child' out there! 😄 Who knew such innocent treats could demand such intense concentration? Hats off to the summer kids for their impressive multitasking abilities! 🧢👏"

activity, child, concentration, dandelion, every, fun, hand, important, knows, lollipop, summer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

25 minutes ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Just shared via Threads:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Reported on Discord:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Making waves on X:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Spotted on Discord:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Trending via Pinterest:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Going viral on Instagram:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

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