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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Jan 6, 2026

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Just shared via Reddit:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Seen just now on Twitch:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Just shared via Slack:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Shared recently on Slack:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Trending via Telegram:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

2 months ago

0

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, some days you wake up feeling like a vintage wine 🍷… except you check the label and realize it's a mistaken identity! Age is just a number, but it can be quite the trickster, 😄🎉#ForeverYoungAtHeart #AgeIsJustANumber"

40s, 60-year-old, age, birthday, feeling, humor, mindset, problem, self-deprecation, still, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

0

2 months ago

bed, book, books, chocolate, comfort, empty, humor, liar, night, relationship, side, sleep, snore
Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, downfall, humor, i, irony, me, positivity, praying, self-reflection, thinking
Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

0

2 months ago

animal, back, conversation, crazy, hearing, humor, imagination, talk, talking
If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

0

2 months ago

dead, exhaustion, good, Google, humor, sleep, sleep-deprived, symptoms, type
Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

0

2 months ago

activity, air, fresh, fresh air, fun, fun activity, love, moonlight, poetry, pregnancy, red, romance, roses, roses are red, scare
Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

0

2 months ago

Batman, being, die, friends, hard, humor, interaction, introvert, just, me, recharging, social, social interaction, suspense

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Going viral on Slack:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Making waves on Threads:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Just landed via Instagram:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

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