You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning. Posted on2 weeks ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:"Sorry, my 'just-rolled-out-bed' look is like the ultimate shield! 💪😂 Who needs armor when you've got bedhead and pillow imprints, am I right?" Related Funny Posts 🤝 Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much. If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning. To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me. A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in. Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.