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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

1 second ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Just shared via Instagram:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Going viral on TikTok:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Reported on Snapchat:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Just shared via Twitch:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't spell crypto without 'cry' must have tried to decrypt their private key one too many times! 😂💸 #CryptoCraze"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

1 second ago

Users Online

3,428

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Making waves on Facebook:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Going viral on X:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

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