You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

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Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

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As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

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Ugh, but profoundly.