Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Going viral on Slack:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Just shared via Messenger:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Live now on YouTube:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Just shared via Twitch:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Making waves on Facebook:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

2 months ago

0

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Discovering your leg strength through the art of hotel bedsheet acrobatics! 💪🛏️ Who knew making the bed could also be a workout routine? 😂 #HotelLifeGoals"

bed, bed sheet, end, experience, funny experience, hotel, humor, kicking, know, leg, leg strength, own, power, sheet, strength, unexpected, unexpected power

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

0

4 weeks ago

Christmas, December, decoration, decorations, easier, family, family life, holiday, house, humor, husband, life, moved, moving, said, taking
I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

0

2 months ago

activity, again, drinking, fun, going, humor, later, never, promise, something, today
Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, coca, Coca Cola, cola, cold, every, freezing, heat, humor, irony, just, nowhere, seasonal, seen, shows, time, truck, year
Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

0

2 months ago

activity, always, bet, dinosaur, dinosaurs, Earth, hell, humor, i, important, patronizing, places, prehistoric, roaming, shit
Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

0

2 months ago

expectation, Google, humor, insanity, irony, just, repetition, results
You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

0

2 months ago

age, caffeine, drinking, feel, feeling, humor, ibuprofen, just, know, life, old, popping, self-awareness, stop, wait, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Seen just now on Threads:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Broadcasted on Threads:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Just shared via Instagram:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Going bananas on Threads:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Going viral on Telegram:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Making waves on X:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Spotted on Reddit:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Just landed via WeChat:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

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