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If youโ€™ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, youโ€™ve never had a cheeseburger.

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I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

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Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

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Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

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It’s strange being the same age as old people.

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If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

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You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

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Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

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Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

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Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

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You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Commentary:
"Those food-sharing couples must have unlocked the ultimate level of love where giving away a fry is a grand gesture! ๐ŸŸโค๏ธ Either that or they have mastered the art of snacking without getting hangry! ๐Ÿ˜‚ #RelationshipGoals"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Being social sucks all my energy.

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I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

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Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

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Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

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Iโ€™m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I havenโ€™t decided yet.

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Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

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I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

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Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

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Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

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Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.