Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Spotted on YouTube:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Shared recently on Discord:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Going bananas on Discord:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Just shared via YouTube:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Spotted on YouTube:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Trending via YouTube:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Just landed via X:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about the annoyance of whistling along to a repetitive alarm sound.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ugh, can you imagine the horror of being trapped in a symphony of competing alarms and whistles? 🎶🚨 It's like a cacophony of chaos destined to drive us all a little mad! Perhaps we should take cover and hope for some earplug reinforcements! 🙉😂

alarm, along, annoyance, distraction, else, humor, know, over, phone, playing, repetition, someone, tune, whistling, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

14 shares on X this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Breaking via X:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Just shared via Threads:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Live now on Instagram:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Trending via Twitch:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

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