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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

295 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,564

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,564

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Just landed via Threads:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Just landed via TikTok:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Breaking via Instagram:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Spotted on Telegram:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ugh, can you imagine the horror of being trapped in a symphony of competing alarms and whistles? 🎶🚨 It's like a cacophony of chaos destined to drive us all a little mad! Perhaps we should take cover and hope for some earplug reinforcements! 🙉😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

80 shares on X this month:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

295 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,564

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,564

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Making waves on Facebook:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Seen just now on Discord:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Spotted on Messenger:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Just landed via Threads:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

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