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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2015 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,177

Funny Quotes Topics

14,933

Funny Quotes Images

12,177

1 minute ago

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Trending via Twitch:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Making waves on YouTube:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Trending via Facebook:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Just landed via Reddit:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Going viral on Messenger:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

6 months ago

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of wanting to go off the grid so badly, you actually consider becoming a missing person 🕵️‍♂️💼 Just imagine the adventures that await in the land of Missing- where chores and responsibilities are but a myth! Good luck convincing your boss you're on a business trip to Missing though 🤣🗺️ #WhereInTheWorldIsUser

desire, escape, humor, ID, know, missing, travel, where, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2015 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,177

Funny Quotes Topics

14,933

Funny Quotes Images

12,177

1 minute ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Trending via YouTube:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Just landed via TikTok:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Trending via Instagram:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Live now on Facebook:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

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