Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.
  • Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.
  • My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.
  • They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.
  • “Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.
  • Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.