“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.