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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,975

Funny Quotes Topics

14,779

Funny Quotes Images

11,975

4 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Live now on X:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Spotted on Reddit:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Just landed via Instagram:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Trending via TikTok:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Trending via WeChat:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

6 months ago

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Love is indeed a free-spirited bird 🦅, fluttering into our lives with a flapping of wings and a chirp of joy. But just as we start to build a cozy nest, it spreads its wings and says, 'Caw ya later!' 🕊️💔 Fly on, love bird, fly on… Who needs a nest anyway when you can soar through the skies of singledom! 🌦️✨"

around, bird, flying, humor, love, me, metaphor, moving, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.
2 months ago
Share → : The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.
2 weeks ago
Share → : Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.
6 months ago
Share → : Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.
1 month ago
Share → : Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.
6 months ago
Share → : 30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!
3 months ago
Share → : “Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.
6 months ago
Share → : This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,975

Funny Quotes Topics

14,779

Funny Quotes Images

11,975

4 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Seen just now on Threads:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Spotted on X:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Making waves on Reddit:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Just landed via Slack:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Just landed via Reddit:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

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