Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.
  • My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.
  • Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.
  • “Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.
  • Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.
  • Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.