Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

  • I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.
  • Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.
  • If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.
  • Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’
  • Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!
  • God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”