Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

19 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Making waves on Threads:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Breaking via Telegram:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Making waves on Threads:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Going viral on Instagram:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

6 months ago

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Gandalf: "Frodo, you must embark on a perilous quest to destroy the One Ring and save Middle-earth."
Frodo: "Sounds great, but can Samwise plant some herbs along the way?" 🧙‍♂️🌱
It seems even the bravest heroes need to make sure their garden is in order before setting off on an epic adventure!

adventure, dangerous, dangerous journey, fantasy, friendship, Frodo, Gandalf, gardener, humor, journey, lord, Lord of the Rings, rings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

19 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Trending via Twitch:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Reported on Discord:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Going viral on Messenger:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Live now on Pinterest:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴