If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women wi… Commentary:"Because let's face it, those ladies would have my killer behind bars quicker than my pizza delivery guy finding my house 🍕🕵️♀️🔍 #PodcastDetectives #CrackingCasesBetweenCoffeeBreaks" Related Funny Posts 🤝 If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end. If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer. When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again. I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur. It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.