I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.