Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.
  • When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.
  • I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
  • If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.
  • You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.
  • Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.