Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

59 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Breaking via WeChat:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Trending via Facebook:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Going viral on Slack:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Just landed via Instagram:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Going viral on Telegram:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Reported on X:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Making waves on Instagram:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Reported on WeChat:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

6 months ago

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, Baron von Heldebrandt sure knew how to elevate custard to a whole new level! 🍻 Who knew that a random boozy brainstorm would lead to the festive sensation that is egg nog?! 🥚🎄 Proving once again that sometimes the best ideas come after a few drinks… or maybe in this case, in the middle of drinking! Cheers to the accidental brilliance of Baron von Heldebrandt! 🥂

1816, back, baron, Baron von Heldebrandt, custard, drunk, egg, egg nog, Germany, guys, heldebrandt, humor, invention, nog, von

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

59 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Spotted on Threads:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Making waves on Discord:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Just shared via Threads:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Going viral on Threads:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Shared recently on X:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Reported on Messenger:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Spotted on Instagram:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Spotted on Discord:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Trending via Threads:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

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