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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Just landed via Instagram:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Trending via WeChat:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Seen just now on Threads:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Trending via YouTube:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

6 months ago

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤖 "Ah, the universal remote control – the magical wand that grants us power over our TV kingdoms! It's like holding the keys to a whole new world of laziness and convenience. Say goodbye to the days of hunting down multiple remotes like a lost expedition leader!" 📺🔮

change, changes, control, convenience, everything, first time, humor, i, myself, observation, remember, remote, saw, technology, thought, time, universal, universal remote

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Trending via Discord:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Spotted on WeChat:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Just shared via Reddit:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Going viral on Twitch:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Reported on Slack:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

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