Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from has downloaded:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from has downloaded:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from has viewed:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from has downloaded:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from has bookmarked:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from has downloaded:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from has downloaded:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from has shared:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Someone from has downloaded:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from has copied:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.