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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2160 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,322

Funny Quotes Topics

15,051

Funny Quotes Images

12,322

4 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Live now on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Seen just now on Discord:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Reported on Messenger:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Going viral on Twitch:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Live now on Discord:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Spotted on Slack:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Shared recently on Telegram:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Just landed via YouTube:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

6 months ago

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect way to unwind after a long day – because nothing says 'chill' quite like a good ol' serial killer documentary 🤯🔪 Who needs calming nature sounds when you can have murder mysteries, right? Stay creepy, my friend! 🕵️‍♂️ #UnconventionalRelaxation"

chilling, documentary, entertainment, humor, irony, just, killer, news, put, relax, relief, serial, serial killer, stress, stress relief, turned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2160 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,322

Funny Quotes Topics

15,051

Funny Quotes Images

12,322

4 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Just shared via Discord:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Trending via X:

My middle finger salutes you.

Reported on Discord:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Seen just now on X:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Reported on WeChat:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Making waves on Discord:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Just landed via Instagram:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Making waves on X:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

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