If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

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Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

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Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

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I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

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It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

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When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”