Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs family drama when you can pay for it! 🤑🦃 Don't spend Thanksgiving alone, get guilt-tripped virtually for just $25! 😂💸 #TurkeyAndTeasing"

25, alone, ask, call, family, give, grandchildren, humor, job, me, money, real, Thanksgiving, Venmo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

20 shares on Messenger this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

39 shares on Slack this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Just shared via Slack:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Going viral on Reddit:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Going viral on Messenger:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Seen just now on Threads:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Life is weird and then you die.

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Life is weird and then you die.

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨