Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.
  • Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.
  • Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.
  • Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.
  • I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.
  • The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.