Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.