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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Going viral on Messenger:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Just landed via Threads:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Just landed via TikTok:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

6 months ago

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

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Commentary:
Ah, the modern multitasking maestro! 📺📱 Who needs to focus on just one thing when you can split your attention between TV drama and edutainment on Wikipedia? 😄 It's like watching a mystery show with the endless thrill of clicking through hyperlinks and learning random facts. Who knew being a couch potato could be so educational? 🛋️🧠 Keep embracing that dual-screen lifestyle – you're the definition of entertainment efficiency! 👏

activity, entertainment, fun, i, idea, leisure, multitasking, phone, something, TV, watching, Wikipedia

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Just landed via Messenger:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Going viral on Discord:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Live now on Facebook:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Just shared via Slack:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Shared recently on Slack:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

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