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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Trending via X:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Going viral on Instagram:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Making waves on Discord:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Breaking via Discord:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Trending via Reddit:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

7 days ago

Playful quote about multitasking: watching TV while browsing Wikipedia on phone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the modern multitasking maestro! 📺📱 Who needs to focus on just one thing when you can split your attention between TV drama and edutainment on Wikipedia? 😄 It's like watching a mystery show with the endless thrill of clicking through hyperlinks and learning random facts. Who knew being a couch potato could be so educational? 🛋️🧠 Keep embracing that dual-screen lifestyle – you're the definition of entertainment efficiency! 👏

activity, entertainment, fun, i, idea, leisure, multitasking, phone, something, TV, watching, Wikipedia

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on X this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

My recliner and I go way back.

28 shares on X this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

25 shares on Slack this month:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

58 shares on X this month:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Making waves on Reddit:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Breaking via Pinterest:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Making waves on Threads:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Trending via Instagram:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Spotted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Spotted on Messenger:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

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