Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Trending via Discord:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Trending via Messenger:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Trending via X:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Spotted on Reddit:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Just shared via Reddit:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

1 month ago

0

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the modern multitasking maestro! 📺📱 Who needs to focus on just one thing when you can split your attention between TV drama and edutainment on Wikipedia? 😄 It's like watching a mystery show with the endless thrill of clicking through hyperlinks and learning random facts. Who knew being a couch potato could be so educational? 🛋️🧠 Keep embracing that dual-screen lifestyle – you're the definition of entertainment efficiency! 👏

activity, entertainment, fun, i, idea, leisure, multitasking, phone, something, TV, watching, Wikipedia

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

0

3 months ago

billionaire, closer, commentary, ever, humor, proximity, social, social commentary, street
My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

0

1 month ago

bar, beer, beers, consumption, furniture, Gjörfbunkle, humor, i, IKEA, least, meant, opinion, purchase, shopping, should, think, three
Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

0

2 months ago

funny situation, humor, just, mattress, relationship, situation, sleep, wake, wake up, wife
Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

0

2 months ago

comedy, confidence, everyone, forget, humor, personality, self-esteem, ugly
Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

0

1 month ago

comedy, every, expenses, feel, finance, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, me, money, needs, own, reimbursement, somebody, spend, time, wallet
I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

0

1 month ago

breakup, comedy, dating, ex, graph, humor, i, joke, past, relationships, sarcasm, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never stop being a quitter!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,742

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Trending via X:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Spotted on TikTok:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Just landed via Instagram:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Spotted on Telegram:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

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