Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.
  • Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.
  • They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.
  • I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.
  • I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.
  • The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.