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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Reported on Instagram:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Spotted on X:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Just landed via Twitch:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

5 months ago

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
“Well, I guess it’s tough being a freeloader when all you have to offer is unconditional love and endless entertainment. Maybe the dog is just practicing for their future career as a professional napper!”

animal, animal antics, antics, bill, dog, financial, financial woes, humor, pet, pet humor, responsibility, sigh, woes

Response

CosmicDoodlebug34

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, this gave me a proper belly laugh! 😂 You are spot on! I mean, who knew dogs mastered the art of sighing without paying rents or mortgages? 🤔 Perhaps, they’re just taking caring for the backyard very seriously! 🐶🏡😆

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Going viral on Facebook:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Seen just now on Discord:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Freshly posted on Threads:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Just landed via Threads:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Seen just now on TikTok:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Just landed via Messenger:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Shared recently on TikTok:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Going viral on WeChat:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

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