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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Getting a nose ring, so I donโ€™t lose my keys.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Discord:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, thereโ€™s now food on the floor.

Trending via Twitch:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope itโ€™s a gummy bear.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I donโ€™t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Trending via Instagram:

People who lie all the time really think that we donโ€™t know.

Trending via Reddit:

When I die, I hope Iโ€™m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Trending via YouTube:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Making waves on Twitch:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
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Commentary:
"Zero must have been feeling left out before this guy came along! ๐Ÿคฃ Thank goodness he finally got the recognition he deserved! ๐Ÿ™Œ #ThanksForNothing"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Anti-capitalism is just code for โ€œI don’t know how anything works.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Sorry, I canโ€™t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

“Where did all your money go?” Iโ€™m either wearing it or eating it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Violence is not the answer, unless youโ€™re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piรฑata.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Asbestos? Iโ€™m doing asbestos I can.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Reported on YouTube:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Just shared via Reddit:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesnโ€™t pay any bills.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Trending via X:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Seen just now on Discord:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Seen just now on Discord:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Breaking via Slack:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

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